It was the summer of 2013.
I went for my annual lady exam at the Dr.'s office. I had the same Gynecologist since 2002, so he knew that I was not a huge fan of going to the doctor and did not even have a general practitioner. The only preventative exams I made sure I did each year was my annual pap smear routine. So my gynecologist always included routine bloodwork as part of the exam. A week after this exam, the office called me and insisted I go back in to go over the results with my doctor, which is never a good sign.
The day came and I went to my appointment. Waiting in the room, by myself with thoughts of what horrors he might tell me for what seemed like forever. Finally he came in with my file.....
He started rattling off my results with his persian accent. High Cholesterol, some normal stuff, then he said something that rattled me: "You are pre-diabetic, so I will write you a prescription for something to help get that under control." It felt like time stood still. Seconds seemed like an hour. I sat there as I let the news sink in.
As my doctor stares at me and asks if I have any questions, I said do not give me that prescription. He starts to explain to me why I need this medication.... I honestly didn't hear a word he said at that point. I interrupted him and said "If you write me that prescription, you will be wasting your time because I will not take it."
He looked at me and replied, " You have two options here: take the medication or you have to lose weight."
I replied with no hesitation, " Then I will lose the weight."
I really don't remember much else from that visit as it was all a blur from there. I had my work cut out for me......
My youngest son was born in October of 2012, so I had quite a bit of "baby weight" that I was still carrying around. My highest weight while pregnant was 182 lbs and I was a whopping 160 lbs after childbirth (mind you, I am only 4'11" tall, so that is quite a bit for my small frame). I was struggling and did not know how to fix myself, but I knew I had to. The news at my annual exam was like a death sentence in my mind. It was the beginning of the end....
I was determined to find a way.
Without having any guidance, I focused on the basics. Each week, I made one small change - worked to master it and then worked on the next one. I started with eliminating soda, candy, processed foods. I ate more fruits and salads. I forced myself to do what I hated doing - running. My husband at the time did not support my efforts. Every time I asked for 1 hour for myself to go for a run, it was the end of the world and inconvenient to him, so he pushed back. Without support around me to make these changes, it was that much harder to continue. Despite the resistance, I pushed on and after a year of working at it, I made my goal of 117 lbs. I even participated in my first 5k - a color run at the Great Park in Irvine, Ca.
I should have felt like I was on top of the world, and although my health was so much better, the rest of my life was falling apart... my life transition was not complete. At least I had regained my health.
The following few years would prove to be the most challenging time of my life. On February 14, 2014 we separated and by June 2015 we were officially divorced. Through my health and fitness journey that previous year, I learned a lot about me and my relationship... we were from two different worlds. He is good with status quo and does not have ambition to do more in life. He did not want things to change. I have always been a person trying to be better every day and I have always wanted more from life. Through that year of me improving myself, it became clear that I could no longer live a lie and pretend that I was ok with a stagnant, mediocre life. I wanted more for myself, I wanted more for my kids and I knew although he cared for me, he was never fully invested in me and if I did not end it now, it was going to end in the future in a much more hurtful way.
So there I was needing to start over again. I was alone. All of our mutual "friends" embraced him and pushed me away. He needed them more than I did, so I let it happen and moved on despite how much it hurt. Then in 2016, I got notice that my job of 13 years was laying me off due to moving my position to Lawrenceville, GA. I was to train my replacements and got a decent severence. By April 2017, I was jobless and trying to figure out life, but at least I brought dirt bikes back into my life. Everything had now changed...
Things started looking up by October 2017, when I was hired at my current job and I moved to be closer to my grandma who was living on her own and needed someone close to keep an eye on her when she needed anything. Bonus was being closer to the local motocross tracks.
Moving to Murrieta, Ca was a great decision. I am grateful that my kids were able to spend time with and truly get to know their great grandmother in that time. Unfortunately I was still lonely. Motocross was all I had. So weekends were my highlight and I ran to the track at every chance I could. I was closed to any new relationships, so when I met people, I kept them at a certain distance. There were times I almost gave up, but I pulled myself out of the darkness. Having my health and fitness under control and having my dirt bike really is the only reason I made it through.
In 2018, thanks to encouragement from my friend, Frank Galante, I was able to buy my first house all on my own. I am super proud of that. At my housewarming party, my best friend pushed the guy I was seeing and me to make it official, so I had also started a new relationship. Every aspect of my life changed between 2013 and 2018. Through these changes, it has been harder to maintain my health and ftness, but I have done ok with maintaining - mostly. I did fall into a funk trying to adjust to the changes in my life, but in 2020 I found the 75 Hard program which changed me forever and put me back on the right track - mentally. I have completed 75 hard twice now and this is becoming an annual "tune up" for me.
That one day at the Dr.'s office changed the trajectory of my life. That was the pivitol moment when I decided to change. It is human nature to stay in the 'comfort zone' until something traumatic or significant happens. Something that is important enough to you to jolt you to wake up. I answered my wake up call. Has it been easy, hell no! But has it been worth it? HELL YES! But this is not a situation where you win one battle and its done. Health and fitness is an ongoing battle - a life-long battle. You have to choose for yourself, what is important to you? Once it becomes important to you, is when you will make it a priority and you will make the time to do it.